Dave ... I apologize if my tongue-in-cheek gibe came across as mean spirited; at worst, it simply reflected a bit of a twisted good-spirited wit when I found myself scratching my noggin even after a 3rd read-through of your post.
Still, trust me that no one appreciates ipad-induced "illiteracy" more than I do ... it's like sitting at a typewriter with hands tied behind your back, pecking out a note with your nose ;)
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