In Jean Scott's post about John McKim's death, she wrote: >>Am I mistaken in the belief that the world, on and off the Internet, used to be a "kinder and gentler" place!! I guess this makes me look and feel old.<<<
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REPLY: I don't hope to change the world, but I will share some personal insights in the hope that I can cause small changes for the better.
In days past, I often found myself compelled to write "morning after" apologies for something I'd said in an email that I fired off too hastily. That still happens occasionally, but far less often than before because I recognized three causes for my problem.
(1) In face-to-face conversations, the other person gets to interrupt your rant and, even if he/she doesn't interrupt, you get to adjust your rant based on the addressee's facial expressions and body language. In contrast, when you're writing an email or forum post, your baser emotions run free from all external controls.
(2) With most emails, you at least know the intended recipient and usually will take into account that you eventually will again meet that person face-to-face. In contrast, on internet forums, you can hide forever behind a cloak of anonymity.
(3) [This third item won't apply to everyone.] I often plow through a day's accumulation of emails in the evening, after I've consumed one or two or three cocktails. Alcohol lessens all inhibitions, including learned civility. My personal policy now is to "Save" any questionable email draft and review it the next day before hitting "Send." Sadly, I do not adhere that policy perfectly; hence I still occasionally need to send apologies.
The GMan
PS #1: I share Jean's perception that the entire world has become coarser in the last 30 years. My children say that's because people are more honest now. But I, like Jean, grew up in a different era. Many people disparage what midwesterners call "Minnesota Nice," but I prefer that as my default option.
PS #2: Google this quotation for more good advice to be found in it's fuller context: >>>Show respect to all people and grovel to none. When you arise in the morning give thanks for the food and for the joy of living. If you see no reason for giving thanks, the fault lies only in yourself. Abuse no one and no thing, for abuse turns the wise ones to fools and robs the spirit of its vision. <<<<
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