EPIC DISASTER – PART I
the good, the bad, and the very ugly of Norwegian Cruise Line's Epic –
a very very very long report
Since many people are getting "free" (usually almost-free) cruises from
NCL from various casinos, especially Caesar's properties, I thought this
group would like a full report on NCL's Epic. Parts I and II are very long, so
if you are not interested, just skip to the end.
In my opinion, being on the NCL Epic is sort of like being on a mini Las
Vegas vacation, complete with a large casino, actual Vegas shows ("Blue Man
Group" and "Legends in Concert'), big buffet, but with 3 stops in the
Caribbean as well (going from Miami to St. Martin, St. Thomas, and Nassau,
Bahamas). But if you want Las Vegas, why not just go there, where the hotel
rooms are much larger, the casinos pay off better, you have way more choices
of shows and buffets and restaurants, and no chance of seasickness?
My husband and I and our two friends really didn't like the Epic, and
below I'm going to discuss in great detail many of the aspects of the ship
including rooms, shows, restaurants and more. This is a very long review, so
be prepared.
Several types of travelers will probably like the Epic – first time
cruisers, people who like to sunbathe (but not swim) onboard, those who love to
spend lots of time at the ship's art auction or attending seminars
provided by the spa or shopping venues trying to sell you on spa services or
buying jewelry and such, new gamblers who don't know about "tight" machines,
and small children (not teens) who will enjoy the 2 waterslides and the
aquapark. Those travelers who probably won't like the Epic and would do better
on almost any other cruise ship – handicapped passengers, people who like
to swim onboard, people who enjoy walking or jogging or standing at the
rail while looking at the ocean, gamblers who want "loose" or at least normal
machines/table games, people who enjoy finding a quiet place with a comfy
seat to read a book or watch movies on their iPad/DVD while on a ship, and
people who have been on the Epic before and don't want to see the same
entertainment a second time.
Of course there are exceptions to my general like/dislike generalizations
above. A friend just told me she is going on the Epic for the third time
in a year. But our party of four all said we would never want to go on it
again. So please realize that this review is based on my opinion, and you
might have a different one.
THE DESIGN
The main problem with the Epic, is the design. The large size of the ship
makes for very long walks between staterooms and activities and activities
and dining. Some areas are narrow and congested. There is a lack of nice
public areas with comfy chairs, no adult pool for swimming, some activities
and shows are in areas with uncomfortable seating
The Epic is NCL's newest and largest ship, and therefore I thought it
would have more to do and more public areas than other ships I've been on (this
was my 20th cruise, and I've also been on NCL's Star, Spirit, and Pearl),
but nooooo. A lot of the extra area has been taken up by additional
staterooms, including extra-large Penthouses and Villas which have exclusive
access to their own courtyard, Concierge Lounge, private restaurant, and bar.
There are also a lot more shops onboard than on many ships. The ship
holds 4228 passengers (double occupancy) with 1690 crew. The overall length
is 1080 feet, beam 133 feet, draft 28.5 feet.
What's lacking are enough lounges with comfy seating for shows and extra
activities such as trivia contests, parties, and so on. The Second City
improv shows, the "Howl at the Moon" (dueling piano/singalong), and many
other activities are relegated to the "Headliners" Room, which has pillars
to block your view and straight-backed chairs that go from normal to higher
and higher bar-type stools to try to give people better views in a cramped
room. "Headliners" is usually packed, and unless you get there very early
(up to 1 hour in advance in some cases), you won't get the first 3-4 rows
of normal chairs and will be relegated to sitting on an uncomfortable high
stool-type chair. And if you are really unlucky, a pillar can block your
view of some of the action. They've added some small TVs on the wall to give
you a "better" view – I felt I would have been better off at home
watching The Comedy Channel on my own TV.
The seating inside the Epic theater where "Legends" and "Blue Man Group"
is fine, a traditional auditorium, but almost no other activities are held
inside. Some activities such as trivia or karaoke or games such as "Who
Wants to be a Bazillionaire" are held in the Bliss Lounge, the one major
lounge with conventional, comfy seating. Unfortunately the Epic has not one,
but two bowling alleys (for a fee), and there is one in Bliss, and there is
no wall between bowling and the rest of Bliss, making it really noisy
whenever bowling is open. Other activities, especially at night, are held in
the "Spice H2O" area outside, on the deck at the very front of the ship,
which has a pool that converts to a dance floor. The only problem – it can
be cool or windy or rainy (or all three) outside. We traveled in January,
and at night the air is pretty cool going from Miami to the Caribbean. And
when the ship is in motion, which it generally is during these events, the
wind is blowing pretty good. One of my friends said she went to one party
at night and found the walkway wet (from people going to the nearby pool)
and the wind blowing so hard and so uncomfortably she turned around and never
went back. I never went at all after one walk to Spice during the day
with the wind blowing! Another "lounge" area where Bingo, Sudoku Challenge,
and other events are held is Fat Cats, which has only straight-backed
chairs – not the most comfortable to sit in.
The pools are all very shallow and small, apparently intended for use more
as a "Kid's Aqua Park" than for adults. There are few Jacuzzis and
these and the pools were constantly filled with small children. The only
adults-only pool is in Spice H20 during the day (it becomes a dance floor at
night), and it is tiny – hardly larger than a big Jacuzzi. Some of the deck
space usually used for pools was taken up by the two huge slides that
dominate the outside, these are part of the aqua park. There are plenty of deck
chairs though. Many adult passengers complained that the pool area and
Jacuzzi were overrun with small children, that there was no place to swim, and
the "adult" pool at Spice H2O was like a bathtub.
There is also a sports complex for playing tennis and several
rock-climbing walls of differing difficulty.
Anyone looking for a quiet place to read or sit is hard-pressed to find
one, unless they want to sit on their own balcony. And if you are in an
inside room – well – good luck. Many of the public areas with lounge chairs
such as Bliss (when not being used for an activity) or on Deck 7 (mostly in
the middle, in front of the shops), have loud music piped in. There is no
card room, so some people sat on cramped areas with low tables on Deck 7 to
play cards. The library is very small and had no wall between it and the
main thoroughfare of the shopping deck, so you sometimes could hear the
music they kept piping in. If you smoke, there is a nice Cigar Lounge to go
to.
Trying to view the ocean, except from your balcony, is also problematical.
The jogging track on Deck 7 has its views of the ocean severely blocked
by lifeboats. There are no great lounges with fantastic views of the ocean
as on many ships. About the only place with a good view is from the
sundecks or Garden Café (buffet on Deck 15). But you are quite high up and
enclosed. The views in the Manhattan and Taste (free) dining rooms and some
other areas are hindered by strange windows which bend the light and make the
ocean look strange (and worse for anyone prone to seasickness). There is
basically nowhere to stand at the rail to look out at the view – no
watching for dolphins from the bow for example. For the most part, you won't even
know you are at sea.
The "Atrium" area on Deck 5 is relatively small, and since some popular
activities such as movies (such "new" ones as "Something Borrowed or "Thor"
etc) and music take place there, they've put in straight-backed chairs to
make room for more people, in addition to some of the comfy chairs. A
2-story screen in the Atrium was used for movies, people playing "family
Nintendo WII" and so on – sometimes nice, sometimes sort of annoying to view.
Deck 6 would normally have an area with a good view of the Atrium too, but
since most of the open space of Deck 6 has been taken over by the Casino, they
've put some of those tall bar-type stools around the area looking down –
hardly a comfortable spot to sit for a 2 hour movie or even just to listen
to music.
Because the Casino takes up so much room in the middle of Deck 6, which is
also the Deck with entrances to the Epic Theater, Manhattan Room (main
free dining), Headliners, Spiegel Tent (home of the Cirque Dreams Dinner show –
more on that later), and O'Sheehan's Irish Pub (free food), Deck 6 is
always busy and sometimes downright congested. People not only sit at slot
machines, often their friends stand behind the machines to watch them. This
causes the aisles you use to walk between Manhattan Room and Epic Theater
(or any activities between them) to be extremely tight and congested.
Also, smoking is allowed in the casino, making parts of Deck 6 extremely
smoky smelling, especially midships.
Unlike most ships, which are not as large, there is no bank of elevators
in the middle of the ship – Epic has only two banks, fore and aft. Each of
those banks are divided in half – (port and starboard ). The elevators
generally were not too crowded, except for right when people are boarding the
ship – but it was a considerable walk to get to them if you were in the
middle of the ship. There are escalators going from the middle of Deck 6 to
Deck 5 (where the Shore Excursion Desk, Atrium, Photo Gallery, Art Gallery,
and other areas lie), but the access to the escalators was right in the
middle of the casino and all that traffic and people gawking at slot machines
right at that critical point increased congestion.
In front of the Epic Theater and the Forward elevator bank on Deck 6 is
the Box Office, where people make reservations for the shows. This area was
extremely crowded as people lined up to get into the Theater or Box Office,
or came out of the Theater, making for crowding at that bank of elevators
during peak times and difficulties walking through for anyone on a scooter
or walker.
The halls next to staterooms were also more narrow than normal, and often
the stewards' cleaning carts clogged them up somewhat.
The good news is that the ship is extremely stable, and most people will
hardly notice the motion. Those prone to seasickness (me and my friend)
will still notice the motion and should bring medication.
Also a general word on décor – generally pleasant but boring. Little
artwork on the walls (except the For Sale Art Auction artwork displayed in the "
Art Gallery"), few sculptures and such, nothing noteworthy. The atrium
is not huge and stunning as on some ships. Again, not what I expected in
the "newest/biggest" ship.
SAFETY/LIFEBOATS
After the recent Italian cruise ship disaster, everyone is more concerned
about safety. While the Epic does have a so-called lifeboat drill on the
first day, we thought that being in a real disaster on this ship might be
more of a problem than on some other cruise ships. First, you do not bring
your lifejackets to the drill. In fact, you are specifically told not to
do so. That doesn't help people learn where their jackets are or how to put
them on. Your drill station is posted in your room, and it is on deck 6,
mostly in public rooms such as the Manhattan Dining room or Epic Theater.
Arriving on Deck 6, half an hour prior to the drill, I found there were
only a few tiny signs to say which station was which, and as the ship
announcement began to tell people to go to their stations, I found few, if any,
crew members to point out where to go. Eventually I figured out that J8 was
in the Manhattan Room, and inside there were a bunch of crew members with
various signs such as J6, J7, J8, pointing to various parts of the room. In
an actual emergency I wonder how many crew members would take the time to
dig out those signs and wander around holding them?
As the drill commenced, crew members demonstrated how to put on life
jackets and so on, but no one really pointed out the one important fact – the
lifeboats actually were on Deck 7, and in the event of an emergency, you
would have to go up a flight of steps to board them. I couldn't help but
think about the Italian Costa disaster. In an emergency, like they had, would I
want to go down to Deck 6 and wait in a dining room full of falling dining
room tables and plates, and then go up a flight of stairs and depend on
some young crew member with a sign to lead me to the exact right lifeboat?
And if I had trouble walking (as I do), would I want to have to climb down
and then up to get to the right level?
The good news was that I did see closets on Deck 6 with extra life
jackets, just in case you were not able to go to your room to get them. Also, one
of the TV channels showed a video on safety that played 24 hours a day.
THE ROOMS
Most of the staterooms I saw were well-appointed, with curved walls and
plenty of storage space. Most were quite attractive. Most had a nice couch
as well as the bed, and in some rooms there are extras such as round beds,
curtains blocking the "bathroom" areas, and so on. In some rooms however,
when you opened the door you hit the bed immediately, then the sofa, then
the balcony. In this arrangement you had to awkwardly walk around the
bed. The other configuration, where sofa came first, was much better. When I
booked the rooms, the person booking was unable to tell me which was which,
however. The new, controversial, configuration of the rooms puts the sink
into the main part of the room. The shower or bath with toilet is in a
separate room, and its door is translucent. This makes for an odd, almost
peep-show if you have friends over and someone needs the bathroom. Also,
because the door is translucent, if someone uses the toilet in the middle of
the night, light can flow out into the bedroom. And then if they go to the
sink at night, they have to navigate in the darkness and run a noisy sink in
the main part of the room.
Why is it that even this newest ship has the same old tiny, narrow toilet
seats? As usual a vacuum system is used for flushing, but why couldn't
they have a wider seat?
We found the bed very comfortable, much more so than some older (harder)
beds, but they are still only a mattress (no springs). We noticed that the
bed seemed a bit shorter than normal, which was odd. There were no
decorative pillows, just the normal. The stewards did a very good job of
cleaning and provided towel animals and ice every day. They also did "turn down"
service in the evening.
The rooms have a refrigerator (usually a mini-bar, which you can ask the
steward to empty) (ours was empty to start with). There is also a coffee
maker in many rooms and a desk with a small stool. Anyone in the Villas or
Penthouses will have a larger room. This ship has the first "Studio" rooms,
intended for singles with basically just a bed.
In some rooms the couch may be missing. Our handicapped room, supposedly
a "Family Balcony Stateroom" had no couch – no chair either, just a
stool. I spoke to a couple of singles who either had the Studio rooms or had
been upgraded, and who also found they had no chair or couch, just the stool –
these were among the people looking for a quiet lounge chair who never
found one.
TV in the room is limited to a few channels of ship's information plus 9
other channels, 4 of which were news, also Nickelodeon, one Nickelodeon in
Spanish, one E Entertainment, and one Movies (showing such "new" movies as "
My Fair Lady," "Raiders of the Lost Ark," and "Chicago"). You can also
purchase pay movies. Little, if any, of the ship's fun entertainment such
as Newlywed Game, etc., ever was repeated on the TV that I saw.
Access to the Mandara Spa's steam and other rooms was not free, as on
other ships, instead you could pay a daily or weekly fee to use those areas.
Even if you purchased a treatment, you didn't get access to these amenities.
People who purchased Spa Staterooms or other higher levels did get free
access.
CONTINUED IN PART II
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